By Mark Travers
Research suggests that certain behaviors can jeopardize a relationship and even lead to divorce. While relationships thrive on love, care, and intentionality, they can falter when neglected or subjected to harmful actions.
A 2022 study published in Evolutionary Psychology identified six key behaviors that often lead to divorce. Beyond infidelity, abuse, and lack of effort to maintain the relationship, three specific actions stood out as particularly damaging.
Here are the top three behaviors that can severely harm a marriage:
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1. Lack of Care and Emotional Neglect
The study found that neglect and emotional disconnection are among the most destructive behaviors in a relationship. Examples include:
Failing to show interest in a partner’s feelings or the relationship.
Neglecting quality time together.
Ignoring a partner’s needs or opinions.
Taking the partner for granted and avoiding expressions of appreciation.
Avoiding emotional or physical intimacy.
When one partner feels unseen or undervalued, it often leads to feelings of loneliness and resentment. A study in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage highlights neglect as a common cause of divorce, with spouses perceiving it as a sign of reduced commitment.
In contrast, a caring, responsive, and validating partner significantly enhances relationship satisfaction and fosters a stronger bond.
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2. Mistreatment of Children
Another critical issue arises when a partner fails to care for or mistreats shared children. Harmful behaviors include:
Neglecting time and attention toward the children.
Engaging in inappropriate or abusive actions.
Undermining the other parent’s authority.
Research indicates that concern for children’s well-being is a primary reason couples stay together. Partners who mistreat children or fail to prioritize their health, safety, and happiness create deep rifts in the relationship.
Conversely, showing a united front as co-parents and actively engaging in their children’s lives helps build a supportive family environment, strengthening marital bonds.
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3. Controlling Behavior
Controlling actions, such as restricting freedom or imposing one’s will, are among the most toxic relationship behaviors. Examples include:
Criticizing or blaming the partner excessively.
Isolating the partner from loved ones or hobbies.
Demonstrating jealousy or possessiveness.
Forcing premature decisions.
Control undermines a partner’s autonomy, a fundamental human need. A 2016 study in the Journal of Family Therapy found that lack of autonomy is closely linked to relationship dissatisfaction and heightened conflict.
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Final Thoughts
Marriage requires mutual care, respect, and commitment. When harmful behaviors such as neglect, mistreatment of children, or controlling tendencies arise, the relationship can become strained and even irreparable. However, addressing these issues through open communication and a shared effort to nurture the bond can help restore and strengthen the partnership.
